The Power of Picture Books in Grief, Hope & Healing - Part 1

We all experience the death of a loved one – someone we know and care about – at some point in our lives but for some, sadly, that loss comes earlier than for others.

For children especially this prompts many questions around why the loss has occurred, why they feel as they do, and what happens to their friend or loved one after life ends. Picture books put into images and words that children can understand big concepts like death, loss and grief which even as adults we struggle at times to comprehend or accept.

It can be difficult for adults to know what to say and how much to say (or not say), depending on the child’s age and maturity, and your beliefs (religious or otherwise). You may be struggling just to cope with your own grief.

Picture books can prompt conversations, let children know that they are not alone in their feelings and experiences, and help them to process these.

The time spent snuggling up with your child and a book can also provide a closeness, and feeling of safety for you both. And, in the beautiful simplicity of picture books, you might find recognition too , and shed a healing tear as you relate to the character and their emotions.

Illustrator Kathryn Otoshi says: “… sometimes we don’t know how to voice some of these big feelings that we have, and through the narrative, or sometimes through somebody else’s experience, we’re able to somehow open up …”

A Special Note to Parents

Please, always read the book yourself first to ensure you are happy with its contents, before sharing it with a child. Think how it makes you feel. You may or may not want to share this with your child as you later read it together.

Think about some of the questions they may ask as a result of reading this book, so you can have answers prepared. Also, be aware there may be questions you never would have thought of. And never be afraid to say, “I’m not sure … maybe we can check that out together”.

Here are four beautiful and heartfelt picture books that may help you and your child in your grief journey, with more books to follow in our next blog.

**** Please note, we have a selection of these books available to borrow from Burstows’ Toowoomba office.***

A Leaf Called Greaf

By Kelly Canby

Published in 2024, this is the beautifully written and illustrated tale of Bear, who holds on tight to the one thing that brings him joy in the face of his loss and loneliness, a beautiful green leaf, which he feels connects him to the family he has lost. It suggests it is okay to feel sad and to hang onto things that help you to cope with that sadness … “In the shadow of a tree that felt larger than life itself sat Bear, all alone.”

Bear’s walk is his journey through grief, and tells us that – hard as it is to believe – as time moves on, those deep, dark feelings will give way to lighter feelings, to seeing beauty again, and that’s okay too.

“Bear found comfort in the company of Greaf and couldn’t imagine a time when things didn’t feel just as they felt right now. Until one day ….” As the leaf changes, so does Bear, and eventually he is able to let go of the now-brown leaf, while keeping the memory of those he has lost, who walk beside him as white outlines throughout the book, close.

This book has been hailed as providing a great prompt to discussing the emotions surrounding loss.

Everywhere Still

By M.H. Clark

In introducing her book, M.H. Clark says she was inspired to help children understand that “loss and grief are as much a part of life as the brighter more joyful aspects,” and that books can “help to create a safe container for processing difficult feelings”.

Everything about this book is gentle, from the soft sepia hues of the pictures to the words:

“I miss you, and I love you.

“I know I always will.

“And even though you’re not here now, I feel you everywhere, still….

“It’s love that keeps me close to you, and keeps you close to me”.

The Memory Tree

By Britta Teckentrup

A beautiful story about the memories which live on, even when a loved one dies. Animal friends gather in the forest after Fox’s death, and as each tells a loving story of how he touched their lives, a tree begins to grow, and their “heavy hearts begin to feel lighter”. They realise that even though Fox is gone, he is still a part of them, and as the tree “made from memories, and full of love” grows, it provides them with shelter and support.

Ida, Always

By Carol Levis, illustrated by Charles Santoso

Taking a different perspective, this book gently explores the time before death when you know that someone special, who has always been there with you, is dying. Through two polar bears – modelled after a real pair from New York’s Central Park Zoo – readers come to understand the anger around the idea of loss, then acceptance, learning to make the most of the time you have, that it’s okay to still laugh, the need to care for each other, and that that person will be there … always. “You don’t have to see it to feel it ….”

– You will find details of four more beautiful picture books, as well as Dr Wolfelt’s100 Practical Ideas guide for children in our next blog.